So, I had this crazy idea to start another blog, don't worry, you can't find the other ones. Mostly because life changes and I needed to change to adjust to it.Here we are, starting new all over again. Why? Because I said so and this is the internet so I could have forty seven blogs if I wanted. Really though, I've recently come to several conclusions.
My blogs in the past have been mostly writing centered, because more than anything I want to classify myself as just a writer. But you can't just be one thing with your whole life. I'm a mother, a fiance, a daughter, a human being, and the job I actually get paid for is nursing.
As for my reference to Hunger Games in said picutre here <- I've been asking myself recently if my classifying myself as a writer is real or not real. Let's consider, shall we...
My DREAM is to be a writer, one day I may be successful at it, for now I just have fun. I have a book published but I decided I wasn't happy with it. I started to rewrite it now I'm tired of doing that so it's on the backshelf. Right now, I'm writing fanfiction again and I realized...HEY, I'm decent at that. Maybe all I'll ever be is just a decent fanfiction writer. I could be okay with that. I like origional work but I have limited time and concentration to work on that as much as I'd like.
Mostly because I have all these other things to be in a daily routine that get in the way. I have to actually make a paycheck so I go to the hospital and heal the sick.... HAHAHA...okay I really don't do a lot of that, what I do more is get yelled at by impatient people about any number of things, bring them drinks and food, and feel mostly unappreciated. Then I get a paycheck and go home.
I come home and I have two children, they're six and seven. I yell at the older one for spending too much time on video games and not enough times on spelling words. I have to look at the forty three new pictures my youngest has drawn and oohhh and ahhh over all of them. Hey, I love them to death but after twelve hours of dealing with people who are constantly unhappy about something, I really want twenty minutes to let my brain vegetate. After that, I have to figure out dinner, throw some laundry in and hope someone else will fold it because I hate doing that, sweep and vaccum my floors, spend some time with my fiance because I guess he needs attention too...
By the time I'd have time to get on a computer I'm worn out and ready for bed. That's about three to four days out of my week. The other days I have to catch up on the other stuff that doesn't get done those days. House cleaning, errand running, feel bad about how much time I've neglected to spend with my children...ughhh... I'm tired already thinking about it and the huge pile of laundry in my room that needs folded.
I'm tired still and I happen to have been on vacation from work for the past eleven days and still have three to go before I go back to work. That limits my writing time to about ziltch most days. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever have time to be the writer I want to be, but I keep thinking my kids will grow up one day and not want anything to do with me for a few years and have their own lives once they get over that...will I have time then? Or will all I ever be is just a writer who writes for fun and not for profit? I mean, ideally I'd like to write for both fun and profit.
Point is, I always thought just writing and writing would eventually yeild results. But, then I woke up and realized it takes more than writing. It takes finishing works I've started, it takes determination and time I don't have right now. So, while I might not have time now, that doesn't mean I won't ever. It doesn't mean I have to let go of a dream, just means it needs a little more consideration and planning. And I think that's an important determination for someone that thinks that dreams will always be that, just dreams.
I'm still determined! Writer will be my job one day!
